Lifestyles – JOE ABAH

So, let’s do a short Valentine thread for Baby Boys, as part of the #BabyBoysManifesto. You see, for a Baby Boy, his main source of happiness is his woman. She’s the one that brings sunshine into his life. With her, he goes out every morning singing 2Pac’s “Me against the world.”

Feb 13, 2018

I no dey denge denge I no dey pose My baby give me biscuit I want sugar The things you do me, bi’ojo ba ro kose wi Bi’orun baran, bi’orun ba’ran ko se so Melo melo, melo melo la fe wi Melo melo, melo melo la fe so Ani melo melo, melo melo la fe wi Melo melo, melo melo la fe so?

If after a job interview, a Baby Boy says “I think it went well. I’m hoping they pick me”, it’s his woman that says “Are they mad? Why won’t they pick you? There’s no one better than you!” If they do, she says “I knew they would.” If they don’t, she says “They don’t deserve you!”

@DrJoeAbah

It’s the Baby Boy’s woman that makes him really laugh out loud (not sarcastic LOL o!). She’s the one that dances. She the one that says “You see what you have done to me? Never ever come near me again!”, while she bravely bears the pain of bringing forth his children.

She’ll give up her surname, sometimes her religion and, sometimes, her career to raise the kids. She’ll go to work, just like the Baby Boy, and still come home to cook. If a Baby Boy is to be honest, he can’t do that for ANYBODY, not even for himself.

She stood by him when there was no money and spends her own money on the Baby Boy and his family. Her Twitter Aunties tell her she’s a fool and that Men Are Scum, but she tells them “Enh leave me! Let me be a fool. Thank you. Goan look for your own person to be a fool for.”

So, when he becomes a successful Baby Boy, his family says “She’s the one chopping all his money. They’ve cooked vegetables for him.” Baby Boy says “Enh una Thank You. Make una too cook vegetables for her too. If she no chop my money, who go chop am? Where una dey since?”

So, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. A day to show her she’s special. A day to appreciate your missing rib. Don’t dull. Don’t dull!! “My baby if you leave me yawa go dey. I no go pursue woman, I go change my ways.” Happy Valentine’s Day to all Baby Boys and Baby Gehs.

Lifestyle

5 min read

Marriage – 2

July 26, 2024

Marriage – 2

I can’t believe it’s already 5 years since this thread. This year makes it 30 years I’ve been married. I said we would continue the thread another time. That time is now. As before, this thread is addressed to my fellow men and won’t work for everybody. Thread…

Having been happily married for 25 years, let me share my experience with my fellow men. The tips here won’t work for everyone o. En hen!

Her phone charger will go bad before yours. Nobody knows why this happens. It is one of the world’s great mysteries. If you use the same type of phone, buy a new charger cable every week. Don’t be petty and use a tape to mark your charger. You are no longer in boarding school.

Remember that it is your duty to charge the power banks. She will take anyone that is fully charged, so you might as well charge all. She does many things for you. Charging the power banks is the least you can do. Also, make sure you change them every couple of years or so.

When she lends you money, she will remind you 100 times before the due date that repayment is due soon. Just smile about it. Any money she lends you registers in her mind as if she GAVE it to you as a gift. That you paid it back doesn’t register at all. Don’t let that annoy you.

Some men have joint accounts with their partners but it’s wise to have some separate money that you don’t have to explain how you spend. There are some demands on you as a man from your extended family that you can’t always justify to her but that you need to do to keep her safe.

When she’s in the kitchen, keep her company, gist with her but also make yourself useful. Cutting onions or peeling maggi cubes makes you involved in good way. It would be good if you have a special dish that she looks forward to. Mine was stew but I haven’t done it in ages.

If it is just both of you (no children or domestic help) it is your responsibility to do the dishes after a meal she has cooked. She may protest but you should insist. Washing plates is actually quite therapeutic. It also a role reversal: you in the kitchen, she gisting with you.

Women’s clothes tend not to have pockets like men’s. So, her phone will often be in her bag or wherever she last used it. If you want to be able to reach her all the time, buy her a smart watch that will vibrate on her wrist.

You may spend a lot of money on a smart watch, like an Apple Watch, and she still won’t wear it. You need to give her a health-related reason to wear it all the time. Women take their health much more seriously than us men. “Darling, it will even monitor you pulse & heartbeat.”

When you are out with her and friends, try not to talk too much. At the same time, don’t be cold and boring. Don’t yarn what you don’t know. Don’t name-drop. Let it be others that talk about how connected you are. Be gracious, smile a lot and exude confidence.

At a party with her, don’t drink too much and make a fool of yourself. Be funny in a self-deprecating way. Women like men that can laugh at their own selves & that are not afraid to show they are not perfect. But don’t start to display like a clown…unless you are paid to do so.

Whatever you do, don’t ever make your woman feel insecure. Using another woman to make her feel jealous is immature and daft. Don’t. Instead, tell her you’ll always be with her. No divorce. No separation. Ever. Whatever else she worries about, she shouldn’t worry about that one.

Any engine that you don’t service regularly will give you trouble. Make sure you change her oil often. She will run smoothly and will not give you trouble often. Remember that I it is your job to arrange an oil change often. Don’t wait until you see ‘check engine’ lights.

You and I know that we, men, are not good alone. When she’s not in town, throw yourself into work, spend more time on Twitter, read that book you’ve been meaning to read and go on Netflix. Stay away from temptation. It has a way of looking for you when your madam is not around.

Finally, some of these things are aspirational even for me. For instance, I won’t be buying her that Apple Watch until next month. Okay. That’s enough for now. Let’s continue another time. Hopefully, it won’t take another 5 years before we do so. Good luck.

@DrJoeAbah

POSTSCRIPT: Some men have asked me what they benefit from treating a good woman well. Here are some: 1. She’ll treat you as the “Alpha Male” you so desperately want to be 2. You’ll live longer 3. Good food, peace and happy home 4. She’ll respect your decision when you say No.

Lifestyle

2 min read

Dr. Joe at Oxford University Blavatnik

July 26, 2024

Dr. Joe at Oxford University Blavatnik

I am grateful to Oxford University’s @BlavatnikSchool of Government and @LemannFdn for inviting me to help train the new government of Brazil, and for the opportunity to meet so many special people. It was great to reconnect with my old boss Sir Tony Blair. Thread…

The training was funded by this special man, Jorge Paola Lemann. Very friendly, simple and unassuming Billionaire. He stayed throughout the training and participated actively in all discussions and debates.

I was deeply honored to meet Sir Professor Andrew Pollard, who led the development of the Oxford-Astra Zeneca Covid Vaccine. Of course I asked him if he himself took the vaccine and he answered “Of course!” He gave me a private lecture on epidemics and vaccines. Scary stuff!

This young lady is Tabata Amaral. She is a member of Brazil’s Federal Chamber of Deputies (like our House of Reps). She’s a Harvard graduate but that’s not the story. She’s only 29 years old but that’s not the story. She’s just been re-elected for a 2nd 4-year term! Do the maths.