Cha! Cha!! Cha!!! Ebeano kwenu! Kwenu!! Kwezuo nuoooo! #EbenaoChronicles is now live! For new visitors to our markate skwiya, nno nu (you are all welcome.) Ezemmuo Ebeano welcomes you to what is perhaps the longest-running thread on Tuwita.
A lot has happened in Ebeano since our last nzuko (meeting). Where do we start? Before we start, can we have a minute’s silence to respect those that have dies of cancer today #WorldCancerDay2018. Also, for nna anyi Chief Alex Ekwueme who was buried recently. May they all RIP.
Thank you all. Now there’s a former Igwe that has a big farm in the western kindred, so he could rightly be called a Farmer. The current Igwe has a herd of cattle in the northern kindred, so he could be called…Wait! Is Ebeano here at all? Ebeano Kwenu! Kwenu! Answer with 20 RTs
Hmmm? Who is calling Ezemmuo? 34 RTs kita kita (now now)? Ok. Let’s kontinuu. There have been clashes between farmers and herdsmen in Ebeano recently. A lot of killings and reprisal killings have been going on. Ezemmuo’s heart bleeds at this. Igwe has not done enough to curb it.
Ezemmuo has asked questions as to what the problem is, and been told that there are a number of issues. The Sahara desert is advancing at the rate of 600 meters a year. That is 6 kilometres every 10 years. Lake Chad is drying up. This is forcing more and more people southwards.
On the other hand, the population of Ebeano is growing at the rate of 3% per annum. This means that the supply of available land is shrinking daily as Ebeano grows. People say there are grazing routes for herdsmen dating back to Colonial times that have still not been gazetted.
On the other hand, the Land Use Act that the former Igwe, the Farmer, enacted when he was a Soja Head of State of Ebeano vests all land in the states in the Lolos (gorvanaws). The southern Lolos need to develop their states. There is no land to give to grazing routes. Conflict!
The ever-present issues of ethnicity have stoked what is, in effect, a structural and developmental problem. Nearly 3 years since the current Igwe ascended the throne, the promises that he made before ascending the throne have not been kept with regards to Farmers/ Herders.
Ezemmuo has seen these with his ordinary eyes. But with his spiritual 3rd eye, he is seeing something entirely different. You see, Ezemmuo has made sacrifices to the gods and asked them to reveal to him what Ebeano’s problem really is. They showed him something much more sinister
Our broda, @Omojuwa, has also visited Ezemmuo’s shrine to make enquiries, as he thinks that Ebeano has been designed to frustrate the majority of Ndi Ebeano (Ebeano people). The gods took Ezemmuo back to the time just before the Sojas left and showed him a meeting that took place
At that meeting, the K-Leg Society was formed. The Society was a truly Ebeanorean society. No tribalism, no ethnicity, no religious differences, no Northern agenda, no Southern agenda, no Middle Belt agenda. Power was just a means to an end. The end that united members was Money.
Members of the K-Leg Society had fully worked out Ebeano. Members do no work. They do not seek power, but will occasionally give the impression that they do when their stream of money is threatened. They generally have permanent suites in the top hotels.
Whenever a new Igwe mounts the throne and wants to start forming anticorruption, they meet and decide what they should give him. Depending on the Igwe, it could be Niger Delta Militants, Boko Haram, IPOB or Herdsmen. Whatever happens, the Igwe will pay and they will chop.
Meanwhile, they will be giving the roots peanuts to be abusing each others’ fathers and forming NotTooYoungToRun. Because they control the structures and the delegates that nominate Igwes, Lolos and Ohanezes (assemblies) in each party, the yoot cannot even crawl, talk less of run
They got the former Igwe that took over from the Farmer Igwe to pay amnesty. They chopped. They deceived the Igwe before this current one to pay huge sums so that they could negotiate with Boko Haram. They chopped. They are now telling the current Igwe about compensation for cows
As Ezemmuo was seeing this vision, everything suddenly became blurry. Ezemmuo doesn’t know whether this thing he saw in a dream is real o. He had indulged rather heavily on some shekpe the night before. He now needs to make further sacrifices to the gods to reveal more to him.
Meanwhile, the Farmer Igwe has had a hand in the installation of all the Igwes that came after him, both as a Soja Igwe and a democratic one. Whenever he feels he is losing control over them, he writes them a letter. He has written one to the current Igwe. Na did we day go next.
Chai! Ezemmuo’s throat is dry o. Can any umuada bring Ezemmuo something to wet his throat? Oh, I see that @toyosilagos has brought some mmanya mmiri (palm wine). The gods bless you my daughter. I wanted to pray that you will only bear sons for us, but then who will they marry?
Ezemmuo rues the fact that Ebeano sons cannot even afford to bring 1 bottle of schnapps. They say that the country is hard. That they’ve just paid school fees & house rent and that Jenuwary has been two moons in one. Story! The gods don’t care. Ezemmuo is fining them 20 FVs.
The elders have intervened. They have pointed out that even Sinator Ajeku Iya has attested that things are hard in Ebeano. They have asked Ezemmuo to plead with the gods to manage 18 FVs like that and kontinuu with the letter that Farmer former Igwe wrote to the current one.
Ok then. The Farmer former Igwe has written complaining that the present Igwe is not ruling well. You see, each Igwe is allowed one Ofala (anniversary festival) after 4 years, after which he must descend from the throne. The current Igwe is preparing for his Ofala next year.
Igwe Farmer says the current Igwe should not present himself for his Ofala next year, and should step down. The current Igwe remembers that Igwe Farmer had attempted to rule for 12 years. Even the military Igwe that handed over to the Farmer asked Igwe Farmer “Kilode?” Igwe said:
Meanwhile, since the K-Legg Society decided on which K-leg to give to Igwe, Eee Efu See See has stopped discovering orphan cowries everywhere. No more Anduru Jekobu. No More Ikoyi cowries. They have attacked the home of the one whose name sounds like the Yoruba juju, magun.
Igwe is watching them closely, because our people say that when one’s fowl goes missing, the aroma of a neighbours soup suddenly becomes suspicious. However, Ndi Ebeano are faced with more immediate problems. They feel the herdsmen/ farmer issue must stop if Igwe wants an Ofala.
Ndi Ebeano have also not had foowel for nearly 3 moons now. Igwe had told them that once he increased the price of foowel, the annual scarcity will end. Igwe said he needed to remove the money that the K-Leg Society was chopping. Surprisingly, Ebeano agreed and did not protest.
Now, Igwe Letter Writer is an experienced Soja. He knows exactly when to launch an offensive that will cause maximum damage. Between farmer/ herder issues, foowel scarcity and unusually hot weather, plus many self-inflicted wounds, he could not have chosen a better time.
Many were expecting Igwe to counter attack, but Igwe just said “Enh, e don do. We don hear. Thank you!” Although Igwe presented his own scorecard, many still felt that Igwe Farmer’s accusations were valid. Igwe had no defence to the allegation that he only favours his own clan.
Igwe farmer has started pushing for a 3rd Force, but most members are from the 1st force when Igwe was on the throne. He had pushed for a 3rd term when he was Igwe and is also now on his 3rd wife. As it happens, the 3rd Force movement is now…well…three. Na waa.
Meanwhile, Ndi Ebeano have been complaining about SARS and have been asking that something be done to end brutality. The head of the people that wear black and carry batons announced that he was setting up a committee to “restructure” SARS instead. Since then, no further news.
It seems that the “setting up of the committee” was just a ploy to end ENDSARS. Ndi Ebeano in typical fashion seem to have have moved on to focus on getting foowel instead. Igwe’s party has also set up a committee to look into the clamouring for “Restructuring”. Same approach?
It is now clear to Ezemmuo that Ebeano has entered a one-chance vehicle without brakes. The vehicle doesn’t have a visible driver. Instead, it appears to be controlled by a remote control in the hands of the K-Leg Society. Ndi yoot Ebeano urgently need to form their own society.
That society should adopt the same approach that the K-Leg Society adopted. No ethnicity. No Religion. No Tribalism. No North. No South. No Middle Belt. No Politics. The only uniting factor for now should be the determination to grab the remote control from the K-Leg Society.
The gods have asked Ezemmuo to support that initiative, and to lend his awesome powers to ALL individuals and groups that aim for this same objective of rescuing Ebeano. Ezemmuo wants nothing for himself. He has enough power of his own and doesn’t want more. Money is beneath him.
Chei! Is that the time? Ezemmuo must now return to the forest. He understands that this edition of #EbeanoChronicles has been more serious than others in tone. But na condition make crayfish bend. Until we meet again, Ezemmuo Ebeano says “E go be.” Peace!