#EbeanoChronicles 10 minutes
Obi has come down from the tree. He wants dollars for his mmanya mriri (water wine: palm wine), but Emefiele is like:
Ebeano Kwenu! Kwenu! Kwezuonu oooo!!! Is Ebeano at the skwiya? RT to say Iyaaaa and call others to #EbeanoChronicles.
Our son @adesoji45 has brought anu nchi (grass-cutter) and palmy to the market skwiya. Those that own us will bless him. May he never fall.
Even if our son, @adesoji45 is to fall, Amadioha forbid, may he fall like the penis and not like the breast.
For when the penis falls, he will rise again once he sees his food. But when the breast falls, it has fallen o.
As our son, Furevor, says “Ala dala ada ada go” (the breast that has fallen has fallen). Ezemmuo hears that they now put salt water in it o.
So Ezemmuo went to the bush to source herbs to make merecine for one Mazi and another one started shouting and throwing his weight around.
Mazi Okeke: “Do you know who I am?” My sister nwada @Tutsy22 shouted back “Ebeano come o. There’s a Mazi here who doesn’t know who he is!”
At the beginning of the new moon (May 1st) ndi workers made their annual demand for an increase in the yams they are paid for their labour.
As usual, those “workers” who do no work at all were at the forefront of the agitation. They even went to occupy Eagle Skwiya.
The fowl has decided to blow breeze on its own behind, saying “En hen? This is me in all my glory. What are you going to do about it?”
Apart from Ohaneze people in some age grades earn far more yams than others, for doing exactly the same labourer work.
So, if you do your labourer work in the Central Barn or in the Ebeano National Oyil Corporation, you are a freeborn and others are Osu.
Osus are outcasts to be sacrificed to the gods. A practice that Ebeano is trying to get rid of. So how does Ebeano deal with the free borns?
Even Ndi Ebeano that are putting their lives on the line to fight ndi efulefu Boko Haram in the north east earn much less than Central Barn.
So ndi labour want Ebeano them to pay more yams. Igwe Ebeano is now “confuse.” Ndi labour already eat 70%. Only 1.8 million of them o.
The other 73.2 million Ebeanorians are expected to live on the remaining 30%, plus the crumbs that fall from the tables of state Lolos.
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Did Ezemmuo just say 73.2 million? See Evil Spirits affecting his speech. He meant 173.2 million. Where’s that palmy?
At the same time, Ebeano doesn’t want Igwe to sack workers. Indeed, they think Igwe should employ more yoots and pay more. Igwe is like:
Now Igwe Ebeano cannot reduce the yams he gives to some people and at the same time cannot raise the yams he gives to others. Hmmm.
“Igwe. It is true that ndi workers get too few yams. Indeed, they get fewer yams than ndi workers in other parts of Afirika. Not even top 10
“So, there are two solutions. First is to reduce the number of people doing nothing in the age grade associations (agencies.)”
“That way, you can pay those that remain more yams. The second is to grow more yams and make it easier to do the business of growing yams.”
“With Ebeano having more yams, paying ndi workers more will not look like that much of a big deal. But you need to wait until then, Igwe.”
If you agree with ndi Labour that the minimum yams should rise immediately regardless, please RT. If you agree with Nwokorobia Agu, then FAV
Hm? Who is calling Ezemmuo? 22 FAVs already? Ok. Let’s continue. Let’s leave ndi Labour to their delusions.
Now, Ebeano has had many incidences of orphan cowries. Once E Ef See See discovers huge stacks of cowries, everybody denies ownership.
The latest one is orphan hotels. The allegation is that the Lolo of Zamfara built the MMM (Mekwe Meningitis Motel), but he has denied it.
The hope is that the $3 million Motel will be used to house Ebeanorians that have no hut to live in and those suffering from meningitis.
Meanwhile, Igwe Ebeano has sojourned again to obodo oyibo to consult powerful dibias. When he was leaving, he wrote to Ohaneze, as usual.
Then ndi asiri started again. That he said Oparaeze will coordinate activities in the kingdom, instead of acting on his behalf.
Meanwhile, Oparaeze started showing his humorous side. He sang Ajeku Iya and joked about whistleblowing.
Immediately, Oparaeze has started issuing orders to make farming in Ebeano easier. People must now buy Made-In-Ebeano to grow Ebeano.
Let’s see whether Ohaneze will listen and buy Innoson with the billions they voted for themselves for new boats.
They must also give permission for license applications within 48 hours and must stop “excessive greeting” at airport toilets.
Meanwhile, ndi iro (haters) posted pictures about flooding in an air boat park and claimed it was the newly done air park in Ebeano capital.
They didn’t even care that it didn’t rain that much in the capital. The desperation to paint Igwe Ebeno in bad light is really strong o.
However, it is only as strong as the desperation of some to paint him in good light. Some yoot even post pictures of abandoned luxury boats.
They then claim it was luxury boats recovered by E Ef See See, to show that Igwe is working. Even though the boats were in China.
Some have said Ebeano should legislate against fake news. But, their records of fake news will legislate against them, without legislation.
Meanwhile, Sinator Ajeku Iya of Ohaneze has written a book. E Ef See See didn’t attend the book launch but I See Pee See went. Na wa o.
President of Ohaneze was a major launcher and Payshay Diaris God o was also there. Alhaji Putin, as usual, sold guns to both sides. AGIP!
Ohaneze bought copies for all their members to make sure they learn how to do kwarrapshan, with our money o. Chei! The life of an Osu!
As the moon comes out over Ebeano, Ezemmuo needs to go and attend to his other duties and make sacrifices to cleanse Ebeano land of evil.
Join us in the next edition of #EbeanoChronicles. This edition is distributed by Okon Calabar Pee Elu See. 2, Okpon Ibot Road, Calabar.
Aristo out! Peace !