Kom! Kom! Kom! Ebeano Chronicles resuming shortly. N.Dr Aristo is just rubbing nzu (chalk) around his 3rd eye. To the village square, all!!
Hian! Ekwensu (Devil) doesn’t want me to talk to my people o. They’re sending “netiworku” to disturb us in Kaduna o.
We have “won” Ekwensu after battling his demons. Amadioha has “offed” their heads. Ebeano Chronicles starting at 5pm now.
Kom! Kom! Kom!!! Ndi Ebeano bia nu o. Ebeano Chronicles is starting now. All adults to the village sqiya o. Kom! Kom!! Kom!!!
Ngwanu. Let’s go. Before we start, let us poor libation to the gods. Our son @Excelgist has provided Seamans Aromatic Schnapps and kolanut.
From this schnapps, may we drink long life and good health. From this kolanut, may we eat and get peace and togetherness in Ebeano b
We must give our ancestors schnapps to drink. But only a little o. The living are more thirsty than the dead. Fave to agree and let’s start.
Ok. A lot has happened in Ebeano since our last nzuko (meeting). Igwe Ebeano has written to Ohaneze that he’s goong to obodo oyibo to rest.
Igwe Ebeano informed Ohaneze that for 10 market days, Oparaeze, the Crown Prince will oversee the affairs of Ebeano while he’s resting.
At the end of the 10 market days, fertile maidens gathered at the market square to welcome Igwe Ebeano. But wait o! He’s not coming today?
Haa! Even before now, ndi asiri (rumour mongers) have started several rumours that Igwe has joined his ancestors.
When Igwe Ebeano now wrote Ohaneze that he was staying behind to consult some powerful dibias, ndi asiri(rumour mongers) went into overdrive
As Igwe Ebeano was resting, powerful kingmakers started to troop to obodo oyibo to see him. Even Lolos that were owing salaries joined.
They all took plenty fotos. But they were not there to famz Igwe o. Some were checking on their investment. Others were setting 2019 clock.
Is Ebeano in this skwiya at all? Ebeano kwenu! Ebeano kwenu!! Ebeano kwezuonu o!!! RT to say “Iyaaaaa.”
En hen! Na now una come na. Anyway, Ekwuru Oha (he who speaks on behalf of the community) too went to obodo oyibo to see things for himself.
But before sojourning to obodo oyibo, Ekwuru Oha appointed a powerful new Chief of Staff, N.Dr Akimu Papa Amadi, formerly a staunch Igweist.
Some are thinking Igwe would not wish to reclaim his okpu eze (crown) in 2019. Igwe is looking at them like this:
Meanwhile, Oparaeze (the Crown Prince) is running tinz and running them well, while in constant touch with Igwe Ebeano.
Ndi asiri (rumour mongers) now turned to Oparaeze & started gist about him stepping down. He’s looking at them like:
Is N.Dr Aristo going too fast with this akuko (story)? RT to say “slow down na!” Fave to say “fire on, we full ground remain!”
You see, there’s this church that catches thieving winches. Their handle is @officialEFCC & this is their signboard:
They went to a ramshackle mud hut in a poor part of Ebeano & saw 9.8 million foreign cowries that Anduru Jacobu hid:
Chei! This Anduru Jekobu is wukedi o. And we must tell him he is wukedi. In the middle of crushing poverty in that part of Ebeano kwa. Chei!
You see, we must tell Anduru he is ugly. Ndichie say if you don’t tell a man he’s ugly, when he reincarnates, he will come back ugly again!
Where is that fresh palmwine that @mgsoki brought for us? N.Dr Aristo is thirsty o. Fave for him to bring out his drinking horn abegi!
Chei! Some people are greedy eh! They are like the penis that keep digging for treasure, only to vomit the akam that was already in him!
Meanwhile, a group loyal to the former Igwe opposes Igwe Ebeano’s rule. But they have one fishbone called AMS stuck in their throat.
To spit him out, mba! To swallow him kwanu, no way! His people allege he is sponsored by Igwe Ebeano but nobody knows. Story for another day
Ewooo! Is that the moon I see? We’ve been telling this akuko for 3 hours solid. Join us for Part 4. The end! To God be the glory.